I’m reading a great book right now — Difficult Conversations it’s called (I’ll give you a review when I’m done with it) — which is about how you handle the tough, emotionally charged conversations that you inevitably face in life.
That type of conversations are probably not on the top of your wish list, but when they are there, you need to deal with them properly, and you need to make sure that you address both the feelings of you and the party with whom you’re speaking. We should not forget either, that it is these types of conversations that also shape a great deal of our character.
At this time, I wanted to share a section from the beginning of the book, and then I’ll get back to reviewing it in a later post, once I’ve finished reading it.
There Is No Such Thing as a Diplomatic Hand Grenade
Desperate for a way out of the dilemma, we wonder if it is possible to be so tactful, so overwhelmingly pleasant that everything ends up fine.
Tact is good, but it’s not the answer to difficult conversations. Tact won’t make conversations with your father more intimate or take away your client’s anger over the increased bill. Nor is there a simple diplomatic way to fire your friend, to let your mother-in-law know that she drives you crazy, or to confront your colleagues’ hurtful prejudices.
Delivering a difficult message is like throwing a hand grenade. Coated with sugar, thrown hard or soft, a hand grenade is still going to do damage. Try as you may, there’s no way to throw a hand grenade with tact or to outrun the consequences. And keeping it to yourself is no better. Choosing not deliver a difficult message is like hanging on to a hand grenade once you’ve pulled the pin.